This trip was something to really dream about. The three stooges of life. Myself, 5-Jay, and Bill. However, it was supposed to be Cooper as well, but after being committed to the trip for over a month, he backed out on the last day because "he didn't feel like going." Jay then called me and said "Cooper is making me so FUCKING mad!". I called Keith to see if he wanted to go, but with the little notice, he couldn't get off work. Cooper would make up for not going by being our guy to get us alcohol in Atlanta 3 years later, but he had to earn his way back up. The drive to Houston on that Friday was cool because everytime we stopped at a rest stop two things happened. 1- Bill would ask how far we were from Houston, eventhough we were in Lafayette, LA. 2- Bill would put the hood up on the van because he didn't want it to overheat. Classic. Anyway, after a classic dinner at the Houston Hard Rock Cafe. We went to a place where Pigott already had made a name for himself- the Houston Galleria Ice Rink (see "Houston/San Antonio get a whiff of Pigott and Jay"....coming
soon). Being a Tom Green enthusiast at the time, I made an absolute fool of myself falling down and flailing my body in ways you can only imagine and in ways Tom Green would be proud of. Oh, but the night still wasn't over. For some reason, Drury Inn and Suites have an outdoor/indoor pool with a glass divider between the pools. This and Beach Ball was all I needed to become the "MacGyver of hotel entertainment" when I invented the game "Pigottball". In a hard fought standoff, I edged Jay 30-28. Oh, for all the ladies, during this time, I was wearing Bill's swimsuit that looked like orange 1950's basketball shorts. I had my own bathing suit packed, I was just such a dumbass I couldn't find it. The following morning was begun by Jay's famous first words of the day, "What a fag!" in response to ESPN's airing of Mike Tyson's retarded tirade talking about Lennox Lewis. Anyway, after this, after another tough game of Pigott ball which Jay won this time 30-27, it was off to the main event, the San Francisco Giants vs. The Houston Astros at then Enron Field (now called
Minute Maid Park, or just "the juice box"). Mind you, that this was when Barry Bonds was in his prime and before he was a stark raving lunatic that shot steroids and as I say "lifted weights in the bathroom". Being the downs syndrome child I am, as soon as I walked into the stadium and saw Bonds in batting practice, I ran down the stairs like a fucking retarded monkey running after a banana. However, I almost forgot. I had made a sign for this game, and me and Jay had to go back to the van and get it. Bill gave us the keys and said "ok you two go and I'll wait here, just make DERRRRRRRRN sure those doors are locked mmmmmmmmmmmm." We got the sign and made dern sure. Anyway,
this sign, which was made over the course of about 5 minutes was two sided. On one side, it said "I came from Madison, Mississippi to be on Sportscenter". The other side, was a sports sign phrase that would live in infamy, "Put me on TV, I'm FAT!". According to Jay, when I stood on the centerfield porch and held it up, it was visible from anywhere in the stadium. I must also add that 5-Jay had a downs moment as well when he broke in line in front of abunch of 2 year olds to get Jose "holy shit I suck after I sign a fat contract" Lima's autograph. Anyway, with the Astros struggling that year with "superstars" Jose Lima and Scott Elarton going 7-16 and 8-17, "respectively" (thus wasting several million on each one- they were both later run out of town along with manager Larry Dierker and Red Sox third base coach Jimy Williams would replace him in midseason the next year) and the Giants eventually making the playoffs, this was a VERY one sided contest. The pitcher that day for the Giants, Kurt Rueter even went deep for his first ever Major League homerun. Then, in the 9th inning, we went and sat field side because everyone had left. I held my sign up near the ball boy and the little spoiled bitch goes "they aren't gonna put that sign up". Then, me being the asshole I am said "you probably got that damn job because of your daddy too, bitch!". COOTH! Anyway, with the score 13-1, the Astros manager Larry Dierker then brought in shortstop Tim Bogar to pitch because the entire bullpen was used up. This was hilarious, because Billy Wagner was available to pitch- shows how much faith they had in him at the time. Anyway, being very hot, a third and final game of Pigottball was warranted, but ended in a 40-40 tie because official Pigottball rules don't allow a team to exceed 40, plus me and Jay had deemed each other "co-champions". Anyway, after a few more minutes of watching Bill act weird, we fell asleep and headed back to the great state of Mississippi only to go on ANOTHER trip the next day! Stay tuned folks, the story's just heating up.
Well after our much publicized battle in week 1, dubbed "Bare Head Bowl I", Jay and I strapped it on for a tough week 2 of fantasy. Being more of allies this week, we gave each other even bigger "best of luck to ya's", and even aided each other in transactions during the week. In a crucial and pivotal game, I was matched up with my boss here at Austin Peay, David Davenport. In a game that was alot closer than I expected, I came away with a 784-700 win that was largely due to the big games by Peyton Manning and Drew Brees. With a lackluster performance from other members of my team, the two QB's combined for nearly 300 points. David put up a last ditch 
effort with a solid
peformance from Fred Taylor on Monday Night Football against the Steelers, but his inability to get in the endzone sealed the much needed victory for Pigott's tough hard nosed squad. Jay, on the other hand, was once again dominant. Paced by a 4 TD/0 sack performance from Rex Grossman and a 350 yard/3 TD from Brett Favre, Titletown was back up to his old tricks routing International Playas 907-691. This sets the stage for Jay to have this weeks' marquee matchup with the #2 team in the league, Dem Dirty Dogs. In a game that could vault me into the top 5, I take on No Chance who is playing without QB Phillip Rivers, who has a bye week.
