Our Latest Escapade In Jackson, MS-2006

Ok, so we were both in J-town at the same time......something that hardly ever happens anymore. And there were actually NEW things to do this time! Our nights out used to consist of a simple independent league pro baseball game at our beloved Smithwills Stadium, and MAYBE some food at Hooters if Pigott was lucky. You see, for Pigott it was either heckling the hell out of the umpires or heckling the hell out of the Hooters waitress with the biggest booty.......it really didn't matter as long as he was able to heckle someone. But those days are over for many reasons. 1: There is a brand new AA stadium for the newly acquired Mississippi Braves called Trustmark Park. The place is incredible. There is also a restaurant there that is good enough to avoid eating elswhere before or after the game. 2: The beer at Trustmark Park is very very cold. 3: My girlfriend recently let me know that I would basically be castrated if I set foot in Hooters, and I respect that. 4: There is a new Bass Pro Shop right across from Trustmark Park that perfectly accomodates our redneck needs. On top of that, it is in Pearl so we can walk in the door spitting and nobody will say a thing. 5: The beer at Trustmark Park is EXTREMELY cold.

So.....on with the story. We started the night off by meeting at the Bass Pro Shop, and I actually beat Pigott there. This was the first time in history I had beat Pigott ANYWHERE. I think he felt ashamed of himself when he walked in the door and looked up to see the sick grin on my face. He gave me a hardy hats off, and I continued to laugh. Next, we went up the clear glass elevator while forcing ourselves not to pull our pants down and press our butts firmly on the glass for everybody to see. When we got to the top, I showed Pigott the skeet shooting video game. His jaw dropped to the floor, and we shook hands and gave our vintage "good luck to ya", then started the competition. Unfortunately, I have real life skeet shooting experience so it wasn't much of a competition at all. I think Pigott was ok with it though, because he knew he was about to beat the tar out of me in the umpire heckling contest. We left Bass Pro Shop and walked on into Trustmark Park. Our first stop was the restaurant out in right field. I honestly can't remember what we had to eat, but I can guarantee you that I had a cold Miller Lite and 5A had something along the lines of an "Earthquake Sundae". He always looks for the most caloric, fattening dessert he can find after inhaling his meal, no matter where we are. Finally, we went and sat down in our seats on the third base line. The guy you see coaching third is Jeff Blauser. He was one of the best shortstops to ever play the game, and he now manages our Mississippi Braves. Sensational, huh? Anyway, the rest of our night was concluded with us drinking a few more adult beverages and everyone within 2 miles of the stadium hearing Pigott yell things such as "That was a horrible call!!....My grandmother could have seen that!!!......Good hustle Blue!!!.....HEY BLUE, this Bud's for you!..........SIT DOWN BLUE YOU SUCK!!!!" (even the umpire laughed at the Bud line) A kid also asked me to autograph his baseball because he thought I was a member of the New York Yankees, right before Pigott blatantly snatched the ball from the kid and said "I'll sign it first". The little boy almost cried as Pigott once again made an ass of himself. Towards the end of the game I went and waited in line behind the rest of the 9 year olds to throw the ball and test my pitch speed, and kept bitching at 5A Pigott because he wouldn't come with me. Then the game ended, and Pigott and I both awkardly walked out of the stadium like we were pregnant from all the food and beverages we had just consumed. We went home and passed out, and that's the end of this story. I would write more, but I have to study for my last final of undergrad studies. Thanks for reading.