Mission Arlington- Jay and Pigott Make History- Spring Break 1997

What a great spring break this one turned out to be. While the main mission of the trip was a very serious one and turned out to be a great personal experience, the pure lunacy and venom me and 5-jay poured all over everyone on this trip is seldom matched. First of all, our room was of course me and jay along with Lee and everyone's favorite guy Trey. The first few nights of the trip featured Trey playing "Doom" on his laptop and while we were asleep, he would watch softcore porn on HBO and Cinemax. Poor leeboy. After we were told to stop by several people one night, Trey continued to make prank phone calls on our phone, which led to his stupid ass letting Brad "The flaming pedophile fag" McMahon (who was, in fact, too old to be on the trip but didn't go skiing with the senior high because he had "knee problems"). Anyway, he took the phone out of the wall and took it downstairs to everyone's favorite guy Brett Mayfield. Being insensed at Trey, Brad, and now Brett, my aggression came out like a blowtorch shooting a flame. I flew down the stairs and proceeded to bust in Brett's room pointing my finger at him and shouting, and even shoving him once, but by this time, Jay had grabbed me and cooler heads prevailed. Oh, but the night was still young. That night, me and jay had one of our most monumental moments in our history of being co-hellians. That night, we ate dinner at the Ballpark at Arlington, the home of the Texas Rangers. After we got done eating, several of us, including Matt Pride, Alec Taylor, Daniel Sigrest, and the late Anthony Shams snuck down to the field and WALKED ON THE FIELD. Seriously, WE STEPPED FOOT ON A MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL FIELD. I seriously remember looking at the empty dark stands and thinking "wow this must be awesome" and thinking what then Rangers right fielder Juan Gonzalez must experience playing beneath the stars of the Texas sky. Few things in life will ever match how much and Jay cared about being on that field more than anything else at that moment. The food and women could wait (won't hear my fat ass say that often), it was time to be a major leaguer. While others were running around like idiots, me and 5-jay were honoring and respecting the true glory which is Major League Baseball. I also ran against the wall and acted like I was catching a fly ball- something Jay is very upset he didn't do- sucks for him. Anyway, as soon as this happened, Anthony, who was shouting "I'm an all-star" looked up and we heard a beeping noise. Me and Jay, being the good friends we are quickly scaled the fence and took off running, leaving Anthony to get busted by security. However, Jay took some grass from the field which Charlotte put in a bag and even labeled it for Jay. How sweet. Right after this, yet another tradition was born, that of the "standoff table". However, it did not have this name yet, but our legacy of many memorable battles on these great contraptions was born that night, and "standoff" would be coined exactly a year later in the same state- stay tuned. However, after Jay's hard fought 7-6 victory over me, we were wired. The one night Trey wanted to go to sleep, me and jay wanted to stay up and play "Doom". Trey, being the fag that he is called our youth minister, Jon Daniels at THREE A.M. and said "JD, they're keeping me awake". He also got Brad's fag ass involved and I eventually agreed to turn off the computer. However, I wasn't finished. Me, Jay, and Lee then all jumped on Trey and beat his ass!!!! I finally just said "just go sleep in the bathtub!", and being the obedient little bitch he is, he DID! Few things are funnier than listening to someone move around in the bathtub they're sleeping in. The next day, I was still wired, and proceeded to drop about 40 points in a pick up basketball game against some college students from Murray State in Kentucky. Yes, it was before I was fat, wait no it wasn't. Anyway,we went out that night in downtown Dallas where me and Jay started rearranging syllables and confusing everyone. This was brought to a climax when I said "I'm so glad to be in the titty of Arlington, Sexas." Appropriate!!!!!!! Anyway, this trip was not without having one more lasting memory. Random Tradition #3 was born on this trip. Chills go down my spine just thinking that we put that pizza under the mattress just because we couldn't eat anymore and we were just too fucking lazy to throw it away. On top of that, we were such assholes we didn't really give a shit who had to sleep there later. Hats off to us. Anyway, Chip was on this trip, but he was all enthralled with his new short-lived "girlfriend" Evan Sills who would later go to high school with me. Also on this trip was Alec, who was starting his "glued to Claire's hip" days. Cooper also went on this trip as well as our good buddy that I mentioned earlier, the late Anthony Shams who would pass away a little over 2 years later. This was the last trip that me, him, and jay were on together. The last night of the trip I gave a accapella rendition of "The Booger Song" on the bus and the busdriver then told me "I couldn't carry a tune in a damn bucket". Asshole. This monumentally historical trip was brought to a close in a rain-filled day at Six Flags Over Texas. We were dumb Mississippi rednecks who enjoyed being idiots, so we kept riding stuff in the rain. After a wild and historical week, me and jay returned to the great Magnolia State and finished out our freshman years at our respective institutions of secondary education. Me and jay would not embark on another adventure for one whole calendar year, but boy oh boy was that one to remember..........