World Changers (for the better or worse?) Summer-1998

I apologize for my absence of about a week. It's ok though, I knew 5A would keep the wheels spinning and his mouth running until my return. So as 5A or I would say, "let's discuss". This is the story of a trip to Wyoming that we took one summer during highschool called "World Changers". Many youth groups from all over the U.S. came and gathered at this one school, where we would all sleep and eat for a week. In the meantime, we were split into random groups and sent to a certain house of an elderly or poor owner. During the daytime, we spent the entire week with our groups taking the shingles off and re-roofing our assigned house. I had a nice mix in my group, consisting of a cool white guy from California named Shane, a little Asian man named "Pun", and three Texas girls along with Davis Jones who was from our church. During the night, we rose a whole lot of hell. Every guy at World Changers slept on the gym floor......yeah it sucked. Pigott and I shared a matt by turning it sideways so we could each have an asspad. The rest of our bodies were on a hardwood floor. That will do a number on a man, so don't ever think you want to be like us and try it. For example, one night i SLEEPCRAWLED.....NO LIE. Yeah I got up in my sleep, trampled all over 5A Pigott, crawled over to Tiny Tim's duffle bag and started digging in it. I woke up to Tim asking me what the hell I was doing, and Pigott woke up laughing while singing along with "Hey Jude" on his Discman. I got the "Ghost" award at the end of the trip. (Pigott got the "raise your hand if you're having fun award" for his famous pick me up line he always said when he got on the bus) Another thing that I will never forget is Blake Webster repeating over and over again that he was going to kick my ass in one on one basketball. Let me tell you how this short game to 21 went: I shot for ball, I made it. I took his ass to the hole, 2-0. He got ball, shot, I swatted that shit to China. He got ball again, tried to drive on me like an IDIOT, I swatted that shit so hard it almost broke his nose. I got the ball and took him to the hole for a reverse layup, while he said "nice shot". Seriously, I won't go any further, but I will tell you that the final score was 22-6. I guess I should pause and let you also know that we made a trip to Yellowstone and Old Faithful at some time during the trip. At Yellowstone, Pigott saw a buffalo and publicly announced to everyone on the tour bus that it looked just like Liza, one of our chapperones. I know, what an asshole. Pigott loved the fact that all the sulphur around Old Faithful smelled just like his farts, so he walked around making fart noises with his mouth that sounded like this..... "PHEEEEEEEEEE.......POOOO..........PHEEEEWW.......POPPPP............MEEEEEEEEEEEEEET".
He continued this in every public restroom we went into on that trip, and he made sure it was a packed house every time. I would walk in just to watch everyone's reaction. Hilarity insued. I honestly believe I could have sold tickets to that shit it was so funny. Pigott didn't stop there, though. I think the fact that men were the only ones who could hear his restroom fart noises bothered him so much that he felt the need to put on a show for the women as well. So, one night he arranged what was by far the funniest thing on the whole trip. He asked me if I would line some 250 people up in the main hallway of the school that we were staying. This was a mixed crowd: guys, girls, YOUTH GROUP DIRECTORS. As 5A Pigott stood at the end of the hallway in the shadows, he waited for my signal. When I gave him the nod, he covered his butthole with both hands and ran about a 40 yard dash down the hallway and into the bathroom screaming "I'M NOT GONNA MAKE IT, I'M NOT GONNA MAKE IT, I'M NOT GONNA MAKE IT!!!!!" The place erupted, and Pigott was an instant favorite of everyone in the building. Along with all this, we had to deal with the real retard of the trip named Chip Boyd. One night we were outside as a youth group having a devotion and share time. We were all telling how blessed we felt by the work we were able to do and things of that sort, when Chip Boyd ruined the atmosphere like only he could. He proclaimed in his annoying voice "I would like everyone to know that I am addicted to pornography". I mean really, why in the world would you want to share this with ANYONE much less everyone in your group??? Everyone's jaw dropped to the floor, and I believe it was at this point that whole point of our mission trip was ruined. As we all walked inside, Key Collins walked up to me and said "Hey man, you wanna go make fun of Chip Boyd?" Along with this, Chip was almost murdered by another member of our youth group who we called "Stuff", when he took a shit in his underwear and was so nervous that he threw it down on Stuff's sleeping bag not knowing what else to do. And if you think our youth group needed help, you should have met the guys from Duluth, Georgia. They had naked time in the shower together everynight.....enough said. We closed the experience at the school out by eating fried bull testicles and watching two of our chaperones do a strip dance right before our very eyes. When we left World Changers, we made a stop in Jackson Hole. 5A was even more delighted by the fact that this gave him the opportunity to call his mother and say "Hey Mom, we're in Jackson Butthole". Shortly after, the Overton twins decided to climb to the top of an extremely tall hill overgrown with weeds high enough for every family of snake known to mankind to inhabit. After being offered to join them, Pigott and I looked at one another and said "What the hell?" We then proceeded to a Chinese restaurant where we ate these poor fellas out of house and home, then rode in a horsedrawn carriage while getting weird looks from everyone in the town who thought we were gay. 5A also says we white water rafted, but I forgot that. I think it's because of the Dr. Tichenor's that Chip Overton forced me to drink, and I was drunk. Needless to say, I was totally taken under by this trip. It was a really good experience and an embarrassment all at the same time. I went home a new man.